Or are we talking about teenage sex?
Sex before marriage was considered disgraceful when I was a girl. Of course it sometimes went on but it was certainly not encouraged. To have a sexual partner meant commitment. Many a couple ‘had’ to get married when the girl was found to be pregnant. The shame that clung, like an unmentionable disease, to a pregnant lass left alone to carry the disgrace caused sufficient fear to kill any desire to experiment. Submitting to an eager male was wrong, it was immoral, and it was shameful. Touching was bad enough but the act itself? Prepare for a shotgun wedding!
Lacking sex education, ignorance abounded. Only vague assumptions existed. Dogs could only get pregnant when on heat. Did the same apply to humans? Drawings on lavatory walls were the only education available to many!
Kissing with tongues and oral sex were thought disgusting and with good reason. Hygiene was poor, medicines basic, and diseases spread easily. And some maidens believed such activities could make a girl pregnant.
Of course, boys wanted action, girls were brought up to say no! In fact most thought it shameful to say and do otherwise.
Then came the pill.
Sex came out of the closet. Promiscuity not only became acceptable, but rife. Possibly encouraged by the proliferance of certain teen and adult magazines? And also by films and television. After no novels with sexual content being allowed, even erotica blossomed. Even so, till this day there is a market for books with sexual restraint and with an emphasis on romantic love that waits for the wedding night. Hoorah for that! We need a balance.
I’m an old fashioned lady who believes in lifetime partnerships as the ideal, even if seldom attained these days, But I am also a realist. Even so, I am not happy that within western society, even with youngish teens, satisfying sexual urges seems to be what matters. Alcohol and sex are a bad mix. Teenage pregnancy must surely be worse than before the pill. Sexually transmitted diseases, unstable relationships and family breakup, result from a society that puts ‘me’ first. But I also believe in true love that puts the ‘other’ first. In such unselfish relationships, the sexual act is a culmination of what each feels for the other — a mutual giving and a taking. A joining of mind, body and soul. Whatever the sexual orientation. Whatever the age. Surely, this is true love.
For a highly enjoyable read consider Michael Allen‘s new book —
At times hilarious, at times poignant, but always entertaining, this book kept us (I have someone who reads to me) enthralled to the very end. Young illicit love is rarely explored, especially between partners of such disparate ages. Is it possible for a mature woman of 39 to fall in love with a boy of 18 and he to be desperately in love with her? Would an 18-year-old girl indulge in a love affair with a schoolboy of 14? Well, the author inspires us to believe in such possibilities, as the sexual and emotional vulnerability of young males, especially one who appears to be a ‘man of the world’, are explored in depth.
G B Hobson