The Grumpy Old Woman of Ulverston

Yes, that’s me, Ulverston’s grumpy old woman.

I wrote a letter to the editor of the local paper complaining about the fancy paving put down on the walkways of our town centre. Three times in alleys I have tripped over small rounded cobbles set into edges where a whole slab does not fit. I have also tripped over the rough and expensive water-washed paving slabs. True I have not yet fallen flat on my face but tripping over at my age is not funny. I have also complained at lack of facilities for skateboarding. It is not a good thing for youngsters to play with them on walkways.

Yesterday, children were skateboarding on the slopes of the Health Centre. Lovely polite children too. I did not enjoy reminding them of the notice on the Health Centre wall. I warned them of the dangers but could not help but smile at their lovely (if worried) cherubic faces. I also said their parents should petition for a skateboard park in the area.

Today the children were back. When I left the centre I had another word — all quite jolly really. The boy spoke as I left him. I turned back to hear and then walked on, my eye catching another youngster (sitting on the grass) who smiled and spoke to me. I chatted back and walked straight into his skateboard left on the path!

Was I angry? Did I feel foolish? Was I hurt? None of these things. Trying not to laugh, I said to the lad, “You see what happens? Old ladies trip over.” I could have added that we don’t look where we’re going, but then, with my eyesight you either look in front of you, or at the ground — trip over or bump into — I’ve done both. Best to flicker one’s eyes from one to the other, but even then I managed to walk into scaffolding poles on the back of a lorry parked in a walkway. Distractions do happen. Funny thing is, I was only telling my granddaughter about these problems two hours before falling over that skateboard. We oldies never learn!

What a laugh! Such lovely polite children. But nowhere close to home where they can play.