Diamond Wedding Anniversary

On Spring Day we celebrated our 60^th Wedding Anniversary. There are many reasons why marriages do not last that long. Often it is death of a partner. It could be Divorce or Separation, or maybe the bride and groom were older when they married. So a long marriage is not a reason to boast about but rather one to be thankful for. We are indeed blessed.

Of course it takes determination to make a marriage work. Love, patience and forgiveness are required in all lasting relationships. Some people would add a need to have much in common and a liking for similar things. And maybe have similar personalities. That is not so for us. At least, it was not so when we married. We have grown together over the years. We have three wonderful sons. Two have lovely wives and we have six grandchildren, one of which has made us great grandparents.

My hubby has his interests. Even after all these years he’s quite active in projects promoting engineering. He keeps physically busy too — the garden and workshop high on his agenda. Me? Well I have my books and still write a little. For years I designed, cut and stitched. Here our interests came together when he made me a good-sized workshop so I could do my freelance designing. He liked my pictures too and willingly framed them.  He also helped in the home when I was studying to become a teacher and later train for the Church. It is this mutual sharing and helping that matters. I am not obliged to love engineering projects (something that get discussed a lot with his sons) but we have a mutual interest in what we do with the garden. He has no real interest in the books I write but we share the pleasures of reading books we both enjoy — this came later in life. Of course we have our arguments but we make it a point not to let our differences build a wall between us. And never in all of our marriage has anyone come between us. It is not a question of trust but of fact — we have each other and no one will ever come between us. This has always been so. Away on study courses, working away for brief periods, hospital stays, have been the only events to part us.

What is love? Love simply IS.

We arranged to spend three nights at the hotel in Buxton where we had our honeymoon. We had to leave at the end of our Anniversary day because the forecast snow would have prevented us getting home. But it was a good day with relatives joining us for lunch.  Other great ‘celebrations’ are taking place (with our lovely family) and we are thoroughly enjoying it all. Getting a card from Buckingham Palace put a smile on our faces too!

The two black and white photos are of us sixty years ago when we stayed at the Alison Hotel, Buxton. The other photographs are inside the hotel sixty years later. (Now Alison Park Hotel). 

Love, Honour and Obey… And the bride said, “I do.”

Love, Honour and Obey… And the bride said, “I do.”

Love in their eyes

Couple with Bride's parents

Happy couple with groom's parents

Happy bride with her joyful mother!

Yes, that's me — grandmother of the groom.

Laughter (and tears) at the Wedding breakfast

Family shot of the wedding Matt, Lisa, Joni (Best man), Dad and Mum.

Lisa’s choice, her own thought-out decision.
Antiquated? Not relevant in today’s society?
Taking the form of a chattel?
Romantic idealism far removed from reality?
Others will think what they will, but the vows have to be seen in context of the wedding ceremony of EACH receiving a ring and the groom making his promises to love and to cherish. A sharing in all that they are and all that they have. A joining of body, soul and possessions. The groom accepting his responsibility, not as a lord and master but as a loving responsible companion along a road of self discovery for them both. A lifetime commitment. Not a form of musical chairs — changing partners when the romantic music stops.
Two people who saved themselves until the right person came along. Two people in love and desiring the good of each other. A true Christian marriage, with Christian values.
It is over 57 years since I made the same promises. We have lived through some difficult times, things have not always gone smoothly, but we have worked through our problems and those years have been growth. That is what marriage is all about. To love and to cherish… to give and to receive…
We each bring different gifts into a marriage, the blending of masculine and feminine, the gifts with which we are endowed, the skills we have learned, all these form a whole, bound and strengthened by love. To love and honour the man you marry, to be obedient to the demands that love makes on all of us, is not a hard task but one that leads to joy and happiness, a foundation for bringing up a family with which we hope to be blessed.

(Photographs are quick snaps with digital camera. They are not the official ones. My hubby not on any because he had the camera)

View chapters from my novels at Magpies Nest Publishing
View all books (USA and UK) at my AUTHOR site
See my other sites — Writing For Joy, Diary of an English Lady, Ask Gran Hobson (ask questions about yesteryear or managing on little)

KILROY — Presenter extraordinaire? Renegade politician? Mature woman’s sexy devil? My experience FINAL PART

UPDATE September 2012 — Blazing Embers is NOW Smouldering Embers and will shortly be published by Turquoise Morning Press.

Part Five. Sex and the Over Sixties — Embers Blazing!

 I have gained more memory since writing this and find much has been missed out but it more or less follows this pattern.

I put on my school teacher voice: “It isn’t funny, Robert. Not all women get an orgasm with sex. When we were young we were totally ignorant about sex. Our sex education got no further than a single-celled amoeba that divides itself. That’s how we went into marriage. Totally ignorant.”

“So how long did it take? An hour? Two? A week? Months?” A grin followed while the audience laughed.

I can’t recall exact words and order of them. But I tried to get over the problems of sexually ignorant people coming together in marriage and living busy lives and lacking technique. Problems of when children arrive, including physical ones. It was getting rather personal. (Reader beware! With a good interviewer, it is so easy to get swept along paths you did not intend to take!)

A woman in front interrupted, talking about ignorance and being protected from boys by her father, and the thread was lost.

But Kilroy came back and asked if I agreed that sex improves as we get older.

“Yes, I do.”

The man next to me explained things very nicely. He spoke about what sex is like (from a male point of view) from when men are young and want to get to their destination quickly, because it is all about what is in their trousers. (Laughter), to later years when comes the desire to do things more slowly so there is more time for romance. And having years of experience and plenty of time for preliminaries, with no anxieties about performance, sex is more enjoyable.

There were plenty of interruptions (the woman in front again) and, of course, far more was said during this period and quite likely in different words — it is a long time ago to remember exactly— but that was the gist of it.

Kilroy moved on to plastic surgery. A big issue. The heavily made-up lady who had shared our car to the studio, proudly announced that her husband had bought her a tummy-tuck for her birthday. I wondered what she looked like minus make-up and clothes. Probably quite ordinary. She had plenty of meat on her, tummy-tuck or not, and no doubt a whacking big scar somewhere or other. Did she go to bed dressed up and in make-up? Or was all this expensive treatment just to look good when showing herself to the world? She had already proudly announced that she wore designer clothes and make-up. But that was her choice and there are very many like her. Even primitive peoples beautified themselves with paint and did painful things to their bodies.

Others had undergone surgery, or intended to, and spent a lot on making themselves look good according to their standards. But there were those present who looked better, and more natural, without heavy costs. Why go to great expense? It had already been established that some women there dressed to find sexual partners. A couple appeared to be advertising themselves.

The answer came, in part, from a woman who had clearly been invited because of the expense she had gone to in order to re-invent herself (her words). Clearly she had spent a lot of cash on clothes, make-up, hairdressing and surgery. She refused to give her age but I had to admire her. Even so, there was something about her that did not look real. Somehow she did not look feminine. Her body looked slim but hard. Her breasts looked more like well developed muscles you sometimes see on weight lifters. Her white dress was body hugging and her platinum hair beautifully done, but…

Unfortunately the lady was derided by a few of the people there. I rather think that some of the animosity was because she looked and spoke posh. She had obviously invested many thousands in this re-invented image. If it helped her then that is okay, but how sad that women can be made to feel old and ugly. I blame the media and celebrity hype.

There were men there who thought women should be just natural and that they did not need to dress up or go to all lengths to make themselves sexy. Some women agreed — sexiness comes from within. I said something about some women staying young inside.

I did have other things to say but soon the programme was at an end.

As we were about to leave the studio, most of the women there — young and old — gathered around and wanted to know the title of my book and where they could buy it. After all, apart from the book being quite funny in places, the problems concerning orgasms are not confined to the elderly.

The day following I met a few people in my own home town (where the story is set) who had seen the programme and they too wanted to know where to buy the book. One had gone to our local bookshop to see if it could be ordered. The book was not even in print. I was unable to find a publisher. Some were interested but said it did not fit a genre to suit their readers as the characters were too old.  But since it has been enjoyed by both men and women of all ages, I would dispute this (see other posts on ‘Sex and the Over Sixties’, and ‘Blazing Embers’ and Sex, sex, sex! Over sixties too’). A male oldie said the book had changed his life. And yet my grandchildren enjoyed it too. It partly tells of life years ago as well as problems faced in the present. So I printed it under Magpies Nest Publishing with the pen name of Angela Ashley. It is now available in the USA as Blazing Embers by Gladys Hobson. (see below) Soon it will also be available as an e-book by Mythica Publishing.

If only it had been available then and there!

I sent the manuscript to Simon Powell as he had asked. After a while, and hearing nothing from him, I rang the studio and found that he was no longer there. Shortly after that show he walked out and no one could tell me where he had gone. His secretary returned the manuscript. Ah, who knows what Simon might have done with it? A programme series? I don’t expect I’ll ever know.

Read a couple of chapters at http://www.magpiesnestpublishing.co.uk

You can buy a book there (under pen name, Angela Ashley)

 

 

What a Difference Promotion Can Make!

Today I had my book Awakening Love (Stonehedge Publishing Ebook version) showcased at http://authorsandtheirbooks.blogspot.com by author Ernie Johnson.
There is a picture of the book cover and another of the author, plus a good snappy synopsis and one of the places to buy. 
The synopsis reveals why the locket on the cover picture is highly relevant. 
Visit http://www.ernierjohnson.net to find out more about this remarkable Ernie Johnson with his vast range of activities.

Not only that, but When Angels Lie (AG Press) is featured on http://bookeventcenter.ning.com. Carol, Author 101, is another remarkable author. She has showcased a great assortment of books by lesser known authors which are available on Amazon. It is worth taking a look. if you are an author in need of a good bit of publicity how about joining us?

Here is the synopsis for Awakening Love:
A tale of love, lust and passionate desire, authentically set in late 1940’s class-conscious Britain. Innocent, naive teenager, June Armstrong is determined to rise above her working class roots and succeed as a top dress designer. Her sexuality is dramatically awakened by war hero, and socially advantaged, Major Arthur Rogers (retired), twenty years her senior. The relationship, sealed by a gift of a locket containing a diamond for an engagement ring, is to be kept secret until June is eighteen. Various events, involving his family, job prospects and unforeseen factors to do with affairs of the heart, prove to be a challenge to their relationship.
Arthur’s ‘ladies man’ brother, Charles, is also in love with June but ruins his chances when he sexually assaults her. June becomes the catalyst for his remarkable redemption. She finds herself falling in love with the “new Charlie” when Arthur is abroad on business. Out of love for his brother and June, Charles withdraws from the blossoming relationship and returns to the Royal Navy.
But first Charles helps June gain employment as a trainee designer. Her boss and mentor — dynamic, sexy entrepreneur, Robert Watson — realises June’s potential and sweeps her along on a tidal wave of ambition. He has plans for a totally new business and she is to be his lynch pin. June is mesmerised by both Watson’s charisma and his renowned erotic sexuality (which she inadvertently witnesses in the stock room). 
Robert Watson’s ability to draw out June’s creative genius eventually creates a bond, dangerous but thrilling, which he ruthlessly exploits — to the full!

Awakening Love is twice award winner!

SEX? Had Enough Of It?

SEX Had enough of it? Let’s face it, the TV screen is seldom lacking in scenes or language with sexual connotations.

Of course, when I was young there were no television screens to inform us about such matters or to stir our imaginations (or hormones when we approached puberty). Radio did not broadcast such things either. But we had the silver screen to teaching us romantic notions, if little else. Oh the queues outside the cinema when the Outlaw was released! Buxom Jane Russell in a low cut blouse, and with a sultry look to go with it. Evidently her being tied up is now considered as a bondage scene. We had never heard of such things as bondage in relation to sex. In fact we had heard and seen hardly anything in relation to sex other than simple kissing and lusty looks.

When I heard Alfred Hitchcock talking, a few years ago, of his scenes that were symbolic of the sex act, I have to admit it never occurred to us (me anyway) that the end scene with a train entering a tunnel, or a sudden burst of fireworks, could be anything other than what they appeared to be. Only education or experience would have given us a hint and we (that is my friend and I) had neither.

No education? Well, some. We did learn about single celled animal life that reproduced by division.

But surely graffiti on toilet walls told us SOMETHING? No. I don’t even recall graffiti until I was much older.

What about the F word? No, I had not heard of it (that I recall) but I would not have known what it meant until “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” became a court case and then was released for general reading.

We were naïve and ignorant (as mentioned in my When Phones Were Immobile and Lived in Red Boxes

Funny thing about words. How do some words become used for swearing? That is, in the first place?

When I was teaching one morning a pupil suddenly ruined the picture he was painting. He yelled the F word. (Such swearing unheard of in my classes – I only heard swearing in the staff room!))

I could see he was shocked by his own sudden outburst so I decided not to make an issue out of it. But the class had stopped work and each pupil was looking at me. “Keith swore, Miss. He said the F word.”

So I looked at Keith and asked him if he would explain to me what the F word meant. “It is not in my vocabulary,” I said.

The class giggled. “Oh Miss, it is a rude word.”

 “Ah, so you know, You explain then.”

The class went silent.

“Don’t say words that you are ashamed to explain,” I told them all, and they got on with their work.

Why this little story? Because I believe you can write romantic, yes, and erotic, stories in language that expresses feelings and sensations that are in harmony with the soul and with nature, without the need for coarseness. Those looking for kitchen sink drama with nothing but swearing must look elsewhere. Personally, I hear enough of it on the TV!

Waterstone’s

I am now set up to supply Waterstone’s via the wholesaler Gardners Books, and am free to write to their stores to see if they would like to stock my titles. A store directory has been sent to me.

My first reaction?

Good!

My second reaction?

Phew! More work!

The truth is, I am weary of the whole business. All I want to do is write, not market books. But without a publisher for printed versions, I have no choice but to go it alone.

I can only hope that e-book versions will sell.

But how to package books to give them ‘reader appeal’? I seem to have made a bad job of that so far. Yes, I have good reviews and those who read my books thoroughly enjoy them (no doubt about that), but competition is fierce and attracting new readers difficult. The Richard and Judy book list (and others with publicity clout) that takes a huge chunk of the market makes it hard for the rest to survive.

But then came this lovely reader review by Andrew O’Hara (Powell’s books Awakening Love reader review) to cheer me up :

“Few are able to write romantic fiction with the skill, ardor and sensitivity of Gladys Hobson. Gladys lays out her characters in such vivid color and her plots with such perfect timing that one can’t help but be swept up and carried along in her delightful tales. This is the third book I have read by this author, and she never disappoints.”

Romance Over The Internet

Awakening Love by Gladys Hobson – now available as an Ebook. So exciting! The cover is quite pretty and perfect for the book. That locket was given to me by my husband in 1952 – perfect for the book’s setting and exactly what I had in mind when Arthur gave the gold locket to June. (Only my character’s locket had a large diamond hidden inside!)
It is a wonderful thing for a publisher to like your writing enough to want to publish your book. I have my own publishing house (Magpies Nest Publishing) for my softback version but it is great when an editor wants the book to add to their titles. I was truly thrilled yesterday when I heard that Awakening Love by Gladys Hobson is now available at Mobipocket
http://www.mobipocket.com/en/eBooks/eBookDetails.asp?BookID=108672

The locket of promised love.

and will be available from the other major Ebook sites later this week.
The unpublished sequel is waiting in the wings!
Great though it is to be recognised in this way, it will be even better if it sells well as every penny of royalties is promised to Badge Of Life. It is a wonderful thing when you can use your gifts to help others. It happened with my When Phones Were Immobile and Lived in Red Boxes (A third world children’s charity benefited). Writing for a purpose makes the tremendous effort a worthwhile activity.